Claymation takes patience. Improving your oatmeal does not.

With cinnamon, vanilla soymilk & walnuts.

By request, I here feature a venture into the world of The Dining Hall Gourmet (a.k.a. me). 

Yes, I use microwaves in the dining halls to steam my vegetables. If there are condiments provided (sunflower seeds, olive oil, vinegar, oregano, cranberries, lemons, etc. . . lots of things for me to play with), you can bet your tray that I'll be garnishing my meal with them! 

Though toast can also be a medium for my morning creativity, oatmeal is a beautifully blank slate. And sprinkling or smearing a few easy ingredients on top (especially tasty treats from the local co-op) takes little patience. 

Eating in dining halls robs me of the patience-building exercise of homemade cooking, which I return to this week (finally, since the times when I cannot cook are my sad times of the day). However, cooking takes much less patience (for me) than the art of claymation (which I have not explored but I take the behind-the-scenes features' word for it). 

Oatmeal kind of looks like clay, and oatmeal is an impressively health-laden breakfast that sticks to your ribs like clay. Thankfully oatmeal is not clay (though with McDonald's one can't be so sure: "even the oatmeal contains seven ingredients, including 'natural flavor'").

Oatmeal Gallery (gluten-free if gluten-free oats, vg)

Since I ate in the dining hall, I did not have to cook this oatmeal (and I like mine chewy, so I am looking forward to cooking my own soon!). Hence I do not have a special oatmeal-making technique to include of my own doing. . . so here is a link to simple oatmeal (and myriad other grain) preparation!

Uncinnamonyum! Oatmeal

Ingredients: cardamom, raw pumpkin seeds, banana slices.

Plumana Mannameal

Ingredients: sliced plum (yes, there were plums in the dining halls!), raw walnuts, raspberry jam, banana slices.

Choco-kiwi-cash Oatmeal
Ingredients: unsweetened cocoa powder, raw cashews, sliced kiwi (not from dining hall, sadly . . .).

Raisinnut Oatmeal

Ingredients: cinnamon, pink salt, raw hazelnuts, peanut butter, banana slices.

 

Peachy Pecan Pie Oatmeal

Ingredients: cinnamon, unsweetened coconut flakes, raw pecans, sliced peach (yes, from dining hall too!).

 

Ap-pear-ently Strawberried Oatmeal
Ingredients: apricot jam, freeze-dried strawberries, raw walnuts pieces, fresh pear chunks (yup, pears make a regular ap-pear-ence in the halls of dining).

 

"That Looks Practical" Oatmeal

Ingredients: cinnamon, cinnamon apple sauce, raw cocoa nibs, raw pumpkin seeds.

Another idea to try that was not pictured: a touch of pumpkin butter to make pumpkin puff oatmeal, as sold in Pumpkin Land!

TTFN,

The (Gluten-free) Dining Hall Gourmet 

(eat s'more) better butter!

"Eat s'more bedder budder"? Is that what you said? I could've sworn . . . Oh, right, that's because you did just say "bedder budder." Don't believe me? Try saying "better butter" aloud.  

Still don't believe me? Well, it's called intervocalic alveolar flapping, which means your vocal cords are vibrating when you say your vowels and hence what we think of as a "t" between those "e" and "u" vowels is sounding more like a "d". And Wikipedia corroborates my linguistic lesson. Another one to try out is saying "kiddy" and "kitty" side-by-side.

From what you've read above, are you sure I'm not a "hack writer"? Are you an italic aficionado? Do we all use italics more than "necessary"? So when should we use italics? Herein lies a possible answer. BUT AS THE PURDUE OWL SITE SAYS, USING ALL-CAPS "throughout a message can create the unintended impression of shouting and is therefore discouraged." WHAT ABOUT ALL-CAPS AND ITALICS FOR EMPHASIS? HMMMM?

Is it time to talk about these photos of phood shrouding this text? I should say so! And you'll surely be requesting another batch of s'more better butter ASAP!

better pumpkin butter (gluten-free, indubitably vegan if agave/maple syrup in place of honey)

Ingredients:
3 Tablespoons of honey (or agave nectar or maple syrup. You may need 4 to 5 Tablespoons of honey, depending on your desire to keep the sugar levels lower or satisfy your sweet tooth)
1 can of pumpkin (15 oz.)
2 generous pinches of salt (I used my favorite pink salt!)
4 pinches nutmeg (or another common spice (I wouldn't recommend that much cayenne pepper!), as is discussed below under Plump Pumpkin S'mores)




Simply mix the ingredients together with some sort of utensilish object. I mixed mine right in a jar that once housed apple butter, which provided a convenient mixing locale and storage container. Keep it refrigerated, and spread on whatever you like!


Serving Suggestions:
Plump Pumpkin S'mores

 Some gluten-free graham crackers (Kinnikinnick) plus simple dark chocolate (Divine, which is equal exchange!) go great with a dollop of better pumpkin butter. Common pumpkin pie spices (cinnamon, cloves, allspice, nutmeg, ginger) and uncommon pumpkin pie spices (cardamom, smoked paprika, cayenne pepper) would be exciting editions to the pumpkin butter before topping with the second half o the cracker. Also, a marshmallow could be placed inside along with all the ingredients pictured, of course!



Pecan-topped Pumpkin Tort
Especially since I ripped rather than sliced my tortilla pieces (I've been operating the last 9 weeks without my own kitchen, so my standards of presentation have been temporarily lowered), this is an easy snack that is far from the complication of a torte! I used Food for Life brand rice-tapioca tortillas to sandwich in some pumpkin butter, which can be sprinkled with cinnamon and nutmeg inside the tortilla-wich. A pecan on top is for good measure & good fats & protein!

ENJOY YOUR NEW-FOUND LINGUISTIC & ENGLISH ORTHOGRAPHIC CONVENTION KNOWLEDGE! (. . . and don't throw it away or put it next to the trash!)

{Squash}ed by an Angel{-haired variety}

Sometimes clips I watched on television as a child are remarkably vivid memories. Sure, I "experienced" watching these scenes, but it's just plain weird to have Disney feel like a first-hand recollection--without any conscious memory of my accompanying surroundings, body, or interactions.

Do other people have TV memories? Probably. And I venture to guess that other people have visions of TV shows and movies spontaneously pop into their heads, either triggered by a few words or notes they hear, something fractured they see, or a random surfacing of deep-brain remembrance that's reminiscent of a dolphin leaping out of the ocean (or a snake surfacing in a swamp).

As I process old memories of 90s sappy cheesiness (and cuteness), I crave something slightly sappy and completely uncheesy. Let us go on to the kitchen and crunch into some angel-haired spaghetti squash! How are we gonna do that? Well, follow along below!

Anti-pasta Spaghetti Divine (gf. vegan if maple syrup in lieu of honey)

Ingredients: (scale up to more for a bigger squash)
1 small spaghetti squash (approx. 4-6 cups cooked)
2 Tablespoons of honey (you could try maple syrup if you want to be sappy)
some thyme (fresh or dried--I had the luck of thyme on my side . . . there was still some fresh among the autumn leaves!)
1 large pinch of coriander (basil, oregano, cumin . . . try out whatever you have on hand!)
a couple shakes of salt on each half
1/4 cup walnuts (and I liked using the end of a bag with the powdery wal-dust!)


Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Puncture the squash thrice with a very sharp knife (it will cry a bit, as pictured below). 

Place the whole squash into a baking dish with sides (so it won't roll out) and bake for about 45 minutes (more time for bigger squash).

When the squash is done (it should turn a bit golden brown on the hard outer shell on the bottom of it and have a bit of give if you push into the skin with an oven mitten on), slice in half. Once it's cool enough that you aren't burning your poor hands, scoop out the inner seeds along with the squash (this part of the angel-hair decadence is generally a bit bitter) and discard. With your two squash-halves facing upwards, pour one Tablespoon of honey into each half (more honey, of course, if bigger halves), followed by sprinkling on the other ingredients: thyme, coriander, salt, walnuts.

I tried eating this both with and without stirring the honey and toppings into the squash with a fork. Either way is tasty. Same goes for refrigeration v. roasting-hot: fresh and fridged noms are equal delights.

I cut the squash 3 times. It cried & drooled, but it did not retaliate.

 
















I hope the yummy-ness never ends!
Because life's a happy game.

Not five, not four, not two, just six [ingredients]]]]]

Like Run DMC & the Beastie Boys, I have riffed on the rap countdown tradition in my title. Props to hollaing/hearkening back to those before oneself (even if not rap. And also props to satirizing pop rap). Now to linguists before me, who even have found the rare, wonderful base-twelve system in the Sora language, I give a shout-out to the marvels of the count.

Now onto something I doubt anyone has done before with these six ingredients I had kickin' around my shelf, all from the town co-op.

Mellow Mallow-Kiwiberri Sundae (gf & vegetarian, unless you find vegan marshmallows)

Ingredients: 

one carton kiwiberries (or another berry of any sort, or sliced fruit! approx 1 cup)

approx 1/3 cup chocolate chips

approx 1/2 marshmallows, diced   

one pinch cardamom

one pinch smoked paprika

one pinch pink or sea salt

 

Cut your kiwiberries in half (your knife running perpendicular to the line that would connect the two ends with stems), then, in a medium bowl gently mix the kiwiberries with the chocolate chips and diced marshmallows. Evenly sprinkle the mixture with the cardamom, paprika, and salt.

Alternatively, layer/arrange the ingredients in individual bowls to prevent berry juice from dying the marshmallows (though this could look cool, too. I arranged mine in the little bowl that's photographed).

Dish up and enjoy! The recipe can be edited to the amount of items you have on hand (such as using normal berries or other diced fruit) and multiplied/re-ratioed as much as you desire!

The "WHAT ON EARTH?!?" factor induced me
to purchase these. How much will these lil' beauties entice you?

Good to the last hemi/demi-kiwi-berri.

Eat not five, not four, not three, just two helpings (just kidding--indulge as much as you want!!!)!

Rock the Kabocha, Rock the Kabocha

Classic punk rock? For me, it's The Clash of England (good book here).

Classic winter squash? For me, it's the kabocha of Japan.

One more question (Bear with me. . . but maybe I'm lion like a tiger caught by his toe, or a fallen, rock-a-byed baby in a cradle or a linguistic Sapir-Whorf Ms. Humpty-Dumpty?): 

Eating local in the fall? No problem! There are still some herbs growing, and there were fresh raspberries to be picked at the start of October. In keeping with the kabocha theme, I harvested herbs and berries in a kombucha bottle. I love G.T. Dave's original kombucha. It's fizzy and has potential medical benefits. It's my Starbucks latte, my superb splurge.

Trashed ornamental squash hiding, ashamed.

I used foil as my workspace & to wrap the squash to go!

One lesson I learned: Ornamental squash (that is not kabocha squash) can be bitter and tragically vile. So, though this beaut that has yellow stripes is photographed, it 'twas trashed.

One piece of advice: Buy a BIG OLE kabocha squash! They taste great, even chilled the next day (after a tweeny sleep-over in the fridge. I hear that okra and ginger root stay up all night and squirt whipped cream all over the faces of the sleepy celery stalks).

One consideration: Though the fresh herbs look way classy on the squash cradles, they are really, really strong. I would suggest chopping them up finely, or just sprinkling some dry herbs and possibly using the fresh herbs as garnish (though it is a quite colorful side-dish even without the fresh herbs!).

One recipe:

Rock the Kabocha Cradles (vega'n'glutenfree)

Ingredients: 

kabocha squash (size of your choice)

fresh raspberries (about a cup, but if you have a squash larger than a 2-cup pyrex measurer, I'd use 1.5--2 cups. Raspberry jam could also work well, with about 1.5 teaspoons per cradle/slice)

a plum (simply cut into as many slices as you have kabocha slices)

pink or sea salt (one pinch per slice)

macadamia nuts (1 or 2 per slice. I used raw ones, but roasted ones would work well too)

mint (a sprig per slice, or a pinch of dried per slice)

sage (a sprig per slice, or a pinch of dried per slice)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Cut your squash in half. Scoop out the seeds with a large spoon. Using a cookie sheet (preferably more of a jellyroll pan that has sides in case the squash leaks), turn the squash upside down and place in the oven. It should take about 30-50 minutes (the larger the squash, the longer the baking time) for it to bake to a soft-enough-but-still-cradle-strong-consistency.

Pretty yellow & orange ornamental squash continues to feel shame. FOREVER ALONE

Okay, so your squash has cooled for about 10 minutes. Time to whip out the cleaver and slice those squash halves into cradle-like structures (as many as you please!). Once the cradles are resting with the flesh face-up, fill with raspberries, macadamia nuts, & a slice of plum. To finish, sprinkle/garnish with salt, mint, & sage.

Noms with class right there.

One thing to remember: I will rap for food (if only Cee Lo still rapped rapidly, more like Twista. . .), so if you make some, email me at my *new*, **official** blog address(!!!): the.digest.digest@gmail.com(!!!!) or comment on the blog(!!!!!)

Arecipe Development

In honor of the return of the Bluth family to the small (and their premier on the big) screen, I propose a toast (well, more of a snack-dessert). If you're not a fan yet, I'd suggest that a good belly-laugh does a body good, and an episode of Arrested Development will arrest the oh-no-DST's-done-therefore-less-sunlight blues that shall commence in 3.333333338792-ish weeks from today.

Laughter is good for you. It's science:

“The magnitude of change we saw in the endothelium is similar to the benefit we might see with aerobic activity, but without the aches, pains and muscle tension associated with exercise,” says Dr. Miller. “We don’t recommend that you laugh and not exercise, but we do recommend that you try to laugh on a regular basis. Thirty minutes of exercise three times a week, and 15 minutes of laughter on a daily basis is probably good for the vascular system.”

Let us relish the sunlight of today. Let us celebrate the wiles and whims of the weirdly wonderful ones with a Bluth banana that's tasteful, healthy, and easy!

Banana StandSnackShack (gf-n-vegan)

You can multiply this ratio however many times you like. Also, this is for a fairly dark chocolate taste, so an added touch of honey or riper banana may be what your taste buds need and politely suggest to you.

Ingredients:

1 banana

2 Tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder (Ghiradelli's is my favorite.) 

1 Tablespoon cocoa nibs or chocolate chips (chips mayn't be vegan.)

also, for topping:

toasted coconut (I make a tin foil boat and watch them toast in a front-door-opens-broiler toaster oven. See above)

raw walnut pieces

Place cocoa powder & chocolate chunks/chips/nibs in a bowl. Slice the banana into the bowl. Either coat banana with the chocolate by gently stirring, or mash banana into the chocolate and stir well. And I like eating with chopsticks, so those are depicted.

So you end up with cocoa-coated truffle-like banana slices, or a choconanapudpudding! And, Bluth family, return from whence you came! (a.k.a. PLEASE COME BACK TO TV!)

 

Dial 1-800-(TRAIL)MIX-ALOT

I have some good news and some bad news.

Bad news first:
1-800-649-2568 is "out of my calling area" (according to a condescending "know-it-all" female voice). Apparently Sir Mix-a-lot won't show up if dialed from Minnesota, but maybe if I were in California he'd bust through my door on the spot.

Unwarranted interlude that could pass as news:
You can play "Funky Town" like Towlie on your keypad; you just press 55452 25875. Contrary to popular attribution, "Baby Got Book" is not the work of Weird Al.

Good news (!):
Mixing food together can taste good. It's kinda like code-switching for your tastebuds when the ingredients stay separate: Whoa! Pumpkin seed--wait, wait, don't tell me, chocolate--hey there, cocoa nib, nice crunch you got--pecan, so good too--coconut, is that you? But you're chocolatey. I thought we were eating chocolate . . . HOLD THE PHONE WHAT IS THIS AMAZING TASTE

. . . okay, I know you're kinda busy, so we'll move onto the joys of bulk bins!

HOLD THE PHONE Trail Mix (vegan & gf)

Ingredients

You can use equal parts of these ingredients instead of the quantity I made to make a larger batch. My measurements below are approximations.

1/4 cup raw shelled pumpkin seeds

1/4 cup pecans

1/4 cup cocoa nibs

1/8 cup large-cut coconut flakes 

1/8 cup chocolate chips 

1/8 cup freeze-dried or dried strawberries (Trader Joe's sells freeze-dried. Really, any dried fruit would taste good as a substitute for the strawberries.)

Either mix in a bowl or shake up in a jar. 

Baby, you just gotta dial back (or web-surf back here) for the number of a simply delicious snack!

P.S. Happy Autumn!
(This red leaf just happened to be in the path of some accidental paint tracks.)